Dating someone with less intelligence
Jennifer Wright at The recently asked CNBC financial reporter John Carney, and nine other "smart men," why so many studies indicate that men prefer dating women who are less intelligent than they are.
Carney chalked the phenomenon up to today's "knowledge economy." Less intelligent women have more leisure time because they aren't financially rewarded for staying in school or working long hours, Carney reasoned, and they seek out a smart partner as a means of "economic advancement." As Carney put it, "dumb chicks have both greater opportunities and greater incentives to try harder to date smart men than smart women do." Carney says a hardworking hedge funder who Wright interviewed provided a similar explanation, asserting that successful men (like him, presumably) date less successful women not because they want "women to be dumb" but rather because they want "someone who prioritizes their life in a way that’s compatible with how you prioritize yours." The hedge funder, for example, dates a kindergarten teacher, and a kindergarten teacher "has a more flexible schedule, she’ll be able accommodate me," he explains.
Thus, there might be wide agreement about whether the person is handsome or ugly, and whether the person is intelligent and has a sense of humor.Can such awareness be tolerated, and can it be avoided? The comparative value of the partner "Comparison is the death of joy.” Mark Twain In his excellent book, Passions within Reason, Robert Frank tells the following story about a woman who asked her colleague the following question: "Why is it that the people I fall in love with are never interested in me, whereas the ones who do fall in love with me are never the one I care about?" Her colleague replied: "You're an 8 constantly chasing after 10s, and constantly being chased by 6s." How could this woman know that she is an 8 and not a 7 or a 10? Once you evaluate your partner to be inferior to you in an overall manner, you are faced with making a profound romantic compromise in terms of the partner's value as a person who exists independent of you.We may think that we are superior to our partner in all aspects, or just in some significant ones.The compromise here does not refer to whether the person is suitable as a partner or whether the partner loves you, but whether the partner is, generally speaking, above, below, or equal to you or to other available partners.